The Spiritual Desolation of the Internet

Six years of Meaning of Catholic

On the recommendation of several friends, I’ve started this Substack. I don’t know if it will go anywhere or be successful with what my family needs, but here goes nothing.

Our family recently hit a big financial difficulty and right now I’m evaluating my work and seeing what more I can do to generate the necessary income. I’ve been running Meaning of Catholic for six years, and to be honest, the internet has really weighed on my soul.

It’s just a difficult environment to work in. I’ve said before that I owe the internet a great deal because it was through the internet that I connected with the person who helped me convert from Eastern Orthodoxy to Rome. There were no books or people in person who could answer all my objections to Rome, but this person did.

So I owe the internet a debt of gratitude for that, first of all.

Second, it has warmed my heart to connect with countless individual Christians across the world. I have a good friend in London, another in Russia, and more in Canada, besides throughout these United States. Against its own design perhaps, the internet manifests something about the Mystical Body of Christ that our forefathers could never experience: communion across borders.

Granted this “Communion” is greatly limited. Obviously virtual connections are nothing to compare to in person communion. Nevertheless, that has not stopped me and many others from forming deep bonds of friendship. This is a great grace.

And gradually we’ve tried to build up a community with Meaning of Catholic where we can truly use the internet to support each other in every way possible.

But these relationships are my consolation in a sea of desolation. It’s a difficult place to be. I’ve been struggling for years, spiritually, to not let the screens suck out my soul. I try to get out in nature multiple times a day to return to “reality” and refresh my heart.

One of the difficulties has been trying to make money on the internet. It’s difficult because I don’t want to sell my work as a “product,” but invite people into a community. It seems to me that the format of the internet itself is design to incentivise the opposite. But more than this: it grieves my heart to see Christians at each other’s throats - does this not grieve the heart of Christ?

So all that being said, I have a “love/hate” relationship with the internet. I will forge on, the best I can, by your prayers, and I hope this new endeavour will be something that helps my family.

So if you’d like to subscribe, that would help us. God bless!